so i've decided to start a list of albums released this year that i like, in some way or another. not in any particular order. there are plenty of albums slated to be released later this year, but these are ones i've already gotten my hands on. if i miss any huge ones, let me know. this is mostly off the top of my head. some are EPs and splits, most are full-lengths. i trolled dumah to see if i'd missed any glaring ones, but i think i've got it down pretty pat. i'll update this often, as albums hit shelves.

( running tally )

because i don't feel like forcing you to go back to the other entry...

( the answers )

music meme, compliments of lady_shadowlily

Open your itunes / winamp player.
Put to shuffle mode.
Find pictures of the first 20 artists. If repeated, skip it.

Have your friends list guess the 20 artists.

( onward )

my internet has been out for almost a week now. first it was the modem, so i got a replacement from the cable co. now it's my router. the router is hooked up to one computer, and is working fine (obviously). it is able to transmit to a second computer. said second computer can pick up a signal (albeit, much weaker than before this whole fiasco started), but you have to go through the XP internet utility rather than the belkin software that we typically used. and my computer (which is closer to the router than first remote computer) cannot pick up a signal with my belkin software, and refuses to connect via the XP utility. so i've been battling this, trying desperately to thwart my routers suicide attempt. i really don't want to go throw down $40 (though i may, just to get the fuck away from linksys for evarrrr), and then have to set up another router/network. but i may just do that later. thank jesus there's a frys 5 minutes away. though i know if i end up going to get a new router, i'll end up buying a ton of junk i don't need to be buying...


and that's all thats been happening. internet woes and working a TON. BUT in my internet absence, apparently endstille were confirmed for wacken!! holy jesus that makes me so happy. along with enslaved (who'll be entertaining), and mago de oz (who i was upset about missing when they played here a few weeks ago).

i've been awake since 3:30am on 3 hours of sleep. now i'm going to shower and pass out. i just wanted to say 'allo. and please direct me to anything entertaining i may have missed in any affiliated communities that we're both members of. i don't feel like going back through a week of entries...

my dog was being cute, and i was trying to fix my camera. don't let the picture fool you. she weighs 80 pounds and on her hind legs shes eye to eye with me (i'm 5'2").

last night was pagan knights (feat. suidakra, tyr and alestorm). my light meter stopped working between suidakra and alestorm so my image quality decreased DRASTICALLY. i spent half of alestorms set trying to fix my camera, and passing it around to others to see if they could fix it. i'm taking it into the shop this weekend. but until then, here are the photos.

*also; i scaled the images down but they're still large, just fyi*

( on to the pictures )

best $26 i've spent in a long time. nomnomnom.

so new orleans was amazing. i fell in love with the city, its history, its food, its architecture and its people. i did find out while i was there that my car (parked in my driveway back home) had been broken into and my stereo had been stolen. i was furious but quickly got over it. oh well. we got a voodoo priestess to give me a sachet of herbs said to bring good luck, hopefully she knows her stuff. i have faith. anyway, onward for a slew of pictures. i took the images that i hosted via myspace, so they're resized strangely. i have much higher-res versions of them that i prefer vastly over these, but i'm exhausted and have to get up in 8 hours for work. you guys get the gist. i may upload the bigger ones and share them, we'll see.

( Read more... )

okay i know you're probably all exhausted with me talking about this subject but i think this blog, more than any other, hits the nail on the head of how i feel about black metal today. and i think it's also me waving a white flag of surrender to the metal masses. i had an epiphany and i think this helps, describe it? i don't know. i just needed to write this one tonight.

( onward )

i got a nikon d40 for christmas and havent taken any pictures of substance on it. so i'm going to share the pictures i took in galveston (note: these are all post-hurricane ike). and pictures of my favorite tattoos that i took for posterity. since i have a better camera now with which to take pictures that do them better justice.

( cut for lots of pictures )

aside from the lackluster new years that is tradition - i was driving home and decided to listen to the avenger and i realized what a remarkably strong connection i have to amon amarth. there are plenty of people who passively like them, and even plenty of people who consider themselves fanatics [a number that has greatly increased in the last few years]. people who brandish the pomp and circumstance of the viking ideology [viking-porn if you will...] and consider themselves all to be viking incarnates. that's an entirely different rant that i'm not about to embark on - the bastardization by the masses of my forefathers and their rituals, rites, icons and beliefs. but amon amarth... they've been my favorite band for what feels like eons, but is more like 7 going on 8 years now methinks?

i first saw them when i was 16. they toured the US in support of deicide and played a tiny venue here that is a reconditioned old house that has been gutted top and bottom, had a few stages built as well as two bars [upstairs and down], and that's it. a house. for some reason deicide couldn't play/weren't allowed to play? and amon amarth took over their set spot - playing an extra long set in essence. everyone had showed up for deicide, so their dropping from the evenings show cleared the crowd out tremendously, leaving literally 50 people inside. they were so unknown and young at the time that they were selling their own merchandise. i had an extensive conversation with olli about how my family is from lund and how displeased he was that i didn't speak swedish. i got my copy of the avenger signed by all the boys but ted. i sang the last with pagan blood WITH johan hegg. from three feet away. with his sweat droplets flinging on to me. synchronized windmill headbanging with johan soderberg. when i was 16. that's almost 7 years ago, in case you were counting.

for some reason i have an extremely juvenile attachment to the band. i was there first. i couldn't buy them beers so i bought merchandise instead. it was their first US tour, i was helping them finance it. i was a cornerstone to who they are today, fucking megaliths. but when people assume that i got my valknut tattoo because they've used it in their advertisings or in their CD inserts; when people assume i wear my thors hammer because they use it in their imagery... i get offended. my rune tattoos are ones i specifically chose for their meanings. my valknut is a call back to my ancestors, i wear it on my chest, proudly, but still almost always clothed to keep it private. i don't like amon amarth for their imagery. they're fantastically sexy men - let that be said right now. i adore every single one of them as individual men. but they do use norse mythology to write fascinating, heroic lyrics. they do manage to come up with epic album art. but i'm not into them at all for the viking aspect. maybe that's what drew me to them in the first place, but it's not what kept me here. their sound is organic. it's melodic without being gothenburg. it's heavy without being florida. it's intelligent enough, organic sounding enough, without being pretentious.

their last tour that stopped here - i ended up back at the venue after the show and managed to meet the boys again. i failed to get to the venue early enough for the meet & greet, though i probably wouldn't have enjoyed being ushered through with the fanboys and their copies of "wrath of the norsemen" dvds in tow to be autographed with glee. long, self-indulgent story short, johan hegg and i had a hearty conversation about sweden and old black metal [think: bathory], the houston metal scene, my tattoos, and their tour. and he called me a valkyrie. yes. johan hegg called me a valkyrie. now, i'm not terribly enchanted with valkyries. in essence they were soul-vampires of the gods who were pretty mindless. not the epic, feminine warriors that they're so oft considered. but still... johan freaking hegg called me a valkyrie.

that band means more to me than most people can comprehend. for as much staunch, hateful, militant, ethereal, intelligent, obtuse, stoic black metal as i listen to... amon amarth will more than likely always be my top listened band on last.fm, they're the one band that i will always wait with bated breath for their newest releases. i promise i'm going to wait for 10 hours if i have to just to be in the front row at wacken for their set. they are my band. they're it. the bees knees. the cats meow. the cream of the crop. my favorites forever and always.

the end.

just realized i hadn't posted this ramble yet... cut for length ;)

( internet versus metal )

( Woe - A Spell for the Death of Man review )

official website and official myspace if you're interested in checking him out. chris/xos has already seen/read the review and it will be published to CoC within the week i guess, depending on how backed up the editor is.

these are reviews that i've written for chronicles of chaos. it's just a compilation. i add my published reviews once they're posted. it's a concise way for me to keep track of everything. check back often if you like what you read, i'm always reveiewing. [the post reads with the newest ascending]

( on to the reviews [updated 01.08.09] )

If we as a united metal front needed any proof that our community is still very much alive and kicking... it lies an hour northwest of Hamburg, Germany. As Americans growing up listening to metal, we hear about the fabled mecca that is Wacken, but we never really grasp the concept of it and all that it entails. For the past seven years it's always seemed vaguely real but still very much an almost fairy tale to me. The magazine coverage of it, the bands proudly announcing they're on the bill, even my European friends shrugging it off more recently in favor of other festivals like Party Sans or Metal Camp or Hole in the Sky. I will preface the rest of this review of sorts by saying this: Wacken 2008 was more a journey I made to Wacken itself, to experience it. Transylvanian, Finnish and Norwegian festivals hosted more bands that I would kill to see. But no... this was ventured to simply experience Wacken, finally.

After rallying our local troops and discussing the travel arrangements, it was whittled down to just one friend and I making the trip. After a two week trek through the heart of Germany we arrived in Hamburg, which proved to be the base of operations and jumping off/rendezvous point for most of the international festival goers. We spent a week on the Reeperbahn (Hamburgs infamous but highly amusing red light district). We found the metal bars (yes Americans, real metal bars, owned and operated by our own). I'd like to say hello to and take a second to thank the entire crew at Night Light in Hamburg. More Astra and Jim Beam next year! Sorry, I digress. As dawn broke on the first morning of Wacken, we set off.

I made friends on the train with a guy toting Grand Belial's Key and Bestial Mockery patches on his vest. I know that's almost irrelevant but it amused me to no end that I was finally meeting people like that in person. Not to knock my home and our metal scene by any means, but Americans are spread so far and few between that running into people with similar interests casually on public transportation at 9am is pretty exceptional. We arrived at Wacken to the 64,998 (or 69,998, depending on who you talk to) other people who had made the pilgrimage. We set up camp and promptly began exploring the controlled chaos.

First, Before I go into detail about the bands I saw, I want to explain the sheer awe the Metal Market instilled in me. For those who haven't been, it's a collective of booths and vendors selling band merchandise and metal odds and ends. I found shirts for bands I didn't even know had shirts. Thank you silkscreeners! Crates and crates of almost impossible to find black metal albums at beautiful prices. Without having to pay international shipping from distros. An original copy of Hvis Lyset Tar Oss for €50! It was one of the few times that I really and truly, with every fiber of my being, wished I was filthy stinking rich. And I'll also say this as well. I've never fallen in love with so many men in one weekend. Actually, I'm not the amorous type at all. But the hordes of 1349, Negură Bunget and Deathspell Omega shirt wearing Viking man-beasts that were everywhere... I almost didn't come home.

Okay enough with the self-indulgent and nostalgic banter. I promise I went for the music. We got settled in our campsite just in time for me to make it to the tent for Negură Bunget. When I first found out they were playing Wacken, I couldn't contain my enthusiasm and from that second on they were the band I cared most about seeing. And after months of anticipating, they didn't disappoint. Being one of the relatively lesser known bands afforded them just a thirty minute time slot but it was an amazing half hour. Luckily my tiny stature and the gentlemen in the front helped me into the first row to experience it. I didn't know what to expect from them, for I've never seen an ambient, folk inspired black metal band live. But adorned in pseudo folk costumes and a minimal stage set, they made the experience purely and unapologetically about the music. Unpretentious and very true to their sound, I can say this as already a huge fan of theirs before seeing them, they put on one of the best live performances I've ever seen based solely on the quality of their live sound. Knowing exactly when to play their folk interludes, they didn't miss a beat or lose the audience. And closing out with "Þesarul De Lumini" in its 13 minute entirety, I know they earned a lot of new fans.

Carrying on that same night was the band of the weekend, Iron Maiden. Now I'm going to be quite candid with this portion. First, I saw Iron Maiden less than 2 months previous on their North American tour, which was the exact same set list. Second, there were far too many people in front of the stage so we got our lawn chairs and set up camp in front of one of the remote screens. And third, I had been drinking tequila for six hours by then. I remember very little of Maidens set, and the next thing I can recall is waking up at 5am in my tent to the sound of the portable toilets near our campsite being shot with a crossbow by some highly amused Germans. But the show they put on when I saw them at home was legendary, and I'm sure their performance at Wacken was even more incredible just because of the surroundings.

The next day brought a half-day of recovery, but I woke up that afternoon in time to see half of Ensiferums set. Being the total sucker for Petri Lindroos that I am, watching them in the cold rain was bearable. But seeing them with 30,000 other people at Wacken was a stark contrast to the 300 I saw them with on this years Paganfest in Houston. Alas, it points out the vast differences in the metal audiences on both sides of the pond. They're a wonderful live band, even compared to other folk bands. Strong stage presences coupled with the obvious enjoyment they have performing live keep the crowds captivated.

Later that evening brought Nifelheim on. They're legends in their own right and they definitely bring blackened thrash to a powerful head. Their live show is as unique as their sound, stage covered in fog for the entirety of the set, only silhouetted by back lights, it's powerful. And it makes for exquisite picture taking.

At midnight, one of the main stages was cleared for the two hours it took to set up for Gorgoroth. They are giants among men and waiting in the cold, ankle-deep mud for the two hours just to get a good spot in the crowd was negligible and well worth it. During the wait, however, the next stage over was playing host to Avantasia which made it pretty painful. But even that was quickly forgotten once the Norwegian hellions took the stage. To most American black metal fans, seeing Gorgoroth has an almost cult-like status (kvlt, if you will). It's an opportunity few of us get. Their stage set is legendary, lined with sheep's heads on wooden spikes, naked men and women in black hoods crucified on stage, occasional pyrotechnics. Gaahl said maybe 5 words on stage aside from singing and his absolutely piercing gaze focusing on certain audience members for minutes on end. An hour of them live was like nothing I've ever experienced. Absolutely perfect for who they are and their notoriety. Abruptly walking off stage without saying a word to end their set. It left a wake of confusion for most of the audience, but for those of us who know the band on some level... it was absolutely brilliant.

The first band I saw on the third day was Carcass. Admittedly I'm not the biggest Carcass fan, simply for lack of listening to them. I do know Heartwork and I really appreciate their capabilities as a live band. Plus the fact they brought out Ken Owen for a solo in front of tens of thousands of people, when he needed help simply getting onto the throne, brought most in the audience close to tears. The fact that was probably the last time anyone will see him behind a kit with Carcass makes the experience absolutely precious to me. And given the bands legendary precedence and the foundations they've helped lay musically for so many bands, on top of their ten year hiatus, all present to see them that day were lucky to say the very least.

Next came the pride of America at Wacken... Warbringer. Almost unknown outside of LA earlier this year, but helped along by tours with Exodus and Nile, these boys are doing it right. Always phenomenal live, my heart swelled with pride to see their reception at Wacken. The most staunch German and Japanese thrashers there went nuts for them. Their ability to hone the annihilating thrash sounds of their influences is pretty remarkable. The lead singer, John Kevills stage presence was glorious and heralded total chaos in the audience. They bore the biggest circle pit I'd seen at the indoor stage, the band calling for blood, they know how to get audience interaction like few I've ever seen before. They played a track from their upcoming sophomore album and the future sounds bright. As a matter of fact, upon returning to Hamburg, back at the bar I had an Englishman approach me and told me that he expects Warbringer to be headlining Wacken in the future, so keep your eyes peeled.

Later that night I wandered back to the Wet Stage to get a good spot for Watain, little realizing I was front and center for Dream of an Opium Eater first. I'll openly admit I'd never even heard of them before that night, but now... I'm most definitely a fan. Especially when I realized it was Ivar from Enslaved, and subsequently various members pulled from Killing Joke, Million Dead and Twin Zero, they have an exquisitely tight sound. They're a unique experience live. Completely instrumental, they provide soundtracks to short horror films that play behind them. They have a sludgy, very guitar laden sound. The entire performance was emotionally evocative and I really can't put into words what seeing them live is like. But seeing them live is, so far as I can honestly tell, the only way to really know the band. The music is fantastic on it's own, emotional on it's own merit, but accompanied by their live presence... it's a completely different world. And god only knows how fortunate I feel to have seen one of their enigmatic live shows.

Recovering quickly from Dream of an Opium Eater, it was time for Watain to take the stage. Nothing short of Armageddon. Brutal, intense, absolutely brilliant live. Set covered in skulls, crosses, chains and candles, they're evil incarnate. I found out while I was in Germany that they're going to be on a US tour a few months after my return home, and I can't wait to see them again. Five days later and I'm still covered in bruises from the sheer intensity of their crowd. All present for their show were obliterated.

The last band I saw was Lord Belial, and they honestly got the short end of the Wacken stick. They were the very last band to play the Wet Stage at the festival, and they had to compete with fucking Kreator for an audience. Many people had already packed up and headed home. Many others were simply passed out in the mud from three days of binge drinking and hell-raising. The others that were left around were in the crowd outside for Kreator. There was a small handful of very exhausted, wet and cold die-hard fans who stuck it out for Lord Belial. Despite their best efforts of riling the crowd, they couldn't get too much physical or audible enthusiasm. They were resilient to say the least. It was an awesome set, but it was just under exceptionally difficult circumstances for the band.

Now on a plane on my way back to America, I recount my first Wacken. My words are really inadequate for conveying how lucky I feel for getting to see these bands and finally wear the prized W:O:A 2008 wristband. I made a lot of good friends along the way, got my hands on some very coveted albums, and have a ton of great memories and even more amusing stories to tell. The shitty camping and hordes of pretty awful bands can all be cast aside for simply having the experience. Upon reflection it's probably going to become a yearly tradition for this American. See you there!

I wish there was a delicate way to approach this without seeming like the poster-child for that which I'm about to try to dismantle. This needs to be prefaced with a few statements; This isn't borne from jealousy. This isn't insecurity manifested. This tirade comes from observations and encounters I've personally had.


I don't necessarily try to hide the fact that I keep my distance from most other women. I have a select few that I whole-heartedly enjoy being around and feel like I can trust and put up with, regardless. But on the whole, I simply don't have the time nor patience to put up with the emotional games and general cattiness and bitchiness. It gets back to me fairly regularly that women who were perfectly congenial towards me in person turn around and think that either I hate them or that I'm simply a bitch. Now don't get me wrong, I don't really actively hate anyone, that's a complete waste of time and energy on my part. But I readily admit that I won't go out of my way to be friendly to people who I really have no interest in getting to know. But that's the kicker, if you have a problem with me (or anyone for that matter), say something to me. I get more offended, and it speaks louder in testament to your character if you choose to forgo telling me personally.


This brings me to the visceral center of this rant; Women in metal. I've written, re-written and deleted blogs on the subject so often that I'm surprised I haven't had an aneurism yet. It's pretty mind boggling when you step back and look at the variety, the flora and fauna if you will, that makes up metal in general. The history, the sub-genres, the growth and evolution, the fights and struggles, the heroes, the explosions in popularity and the lulls. It's a male dominated ecosystem, none question that. And anything that is male-dominated harbors strange (stranger than normal, that is) female behaviors. Women have been fighting for our place since metal was conceived/evolved and first started taking up root. Not that it's an eternal struggle by any means, we can actually fit in and gain respect terribly easily in this day and age. But its the constant estrogen fueled war that goes on under the surface that makes me want to tear my hair out.


Women, by nature, are competitive and cut-throat. And when it comes to the peahens at a show displaying their figurative feathers, the claws come out. There are the handful of us that honestly don't care. It IS about the music for us. The way we dress at shows is the way we dress every day. The way we talk, the people we talk to... that's our life. We don't put on too much makeup and whip out the short skirts or ridiculous boots. Our band shirts are faded from too much wear. That doesn't mean that I won't be the first to get a little territorial when the girl I see at every show, every time trying to sleep with a member of whatever band is headlining that night, starts trying to stare me down. Normally I wouldn't give it a passing thought aside from the, "What the fuck are you staring at?" internal dialogue, but they create an atmosphere where my integrity is called into question simply because I'm female. Like I said before, this isn't insecurity. It's anger and outrage. I've never personally had to fight to be taken seriously in the "scene" but I have had the occasional "Hey nice shirt, what's your favorite album by them..." game thrown my way. I don't wear the music that I love as a badge of honor or as some way to earn badass points. It's not about that, at all. And honestly, despite how much of a lifestyle it can potentially be for most people, the music is nothing more than that... music. Many a political ideal, social commentary or religious inclination have been birthed within the confines of metal schooling, but at the end of the day it's music.


I'm also terribly aware of the fact that most of the women around are generally only around because their boyfriends are there. Or because they WANT a boyfriend. That's fine, it's human nature. And god knows that women in metal completely understand the allure of our men. But when those outsiders start stretching their arrogance or misplaced sense of ownership or whatever the fuck it is that manifests itself... I won't hesitate to try to help them off of their pedestal. When they behave like civil women and are simply pleasant to be around, not trying to prove something, they're lovely. But don't come to a show that I've been waiting 3 months to see, that I requested off of work 3 months ago just for, that I spent money on instead of buying gasoline... do not come and step on my toes little girl. And another thing; outsider women tend to be extremely jealous of the women "in the scene," or so I've noticed. Don't take your jealousy out on innocent women, please. Fix yourself.


Like I said... there isn't an easy way to write this without sounding jealous or catty. But it honestly isn't either of those things. I'm more than happy with myself and my opinions on music and the bands that I've chosen to hold dear. I'm content with my friends and how I come off outwardly to people that I meet. I just really wish this wasn't an issue. For the most part, day in and day out, it's not. But there are times when it rears it's ugly head. I come across a girl that I really dislike or I start thinking about a time when I was called into question or when word got back to me that someone was talking about me simply because she was jealous. I don't try. I think that's the biggest thing. I really don't. I don't put on airs. This IS me.


On another side note; This has come up quite a few times in conversations as of recent between myself and both men and women, metal and non-metal alike. Metal is a brotherhood. Women in metal know this. We're one of the guys 98% of the time and it's fine. But also the metal women have a certain... aggressiveness about us? Maybe it's the inherent qualities of the music, but we don't put up with bullshit and we tend to be more masculine in our behavior and appearance than the average girly woman. Metal men can have non-metal girlfriends, it doesn't phase them. And most [at least say they] prefer non-metal women because they're different than what they're around all the time (their guy friends). But it seems to be the consensus, when it's been mentioned, that metal women NEED a metal boyfriend because all other men fall short. We can't listen to music with bigger balls than our men. It doesn't make any sense to myself and the other women I've had this conversation with WHY metal men would turn down a girl that understands how crucial it is going to shows to see a band that hasn't toured in over 5 years, or being understanding when band practice takes precedence over dates, or why listening to the same album for 4 days straight because it's still a mind-fuck in its awesomeness makes perfect sense, or having a girlfriend that can impress your friends with her metal knowledge. The girls and I... we don't get it. We still smell nice and are soft and make funny little noises and worry about girly things and DO girly things... we just listen to your music and it runs deep in our veins. I've had a few guys try to explain this to us but we just sit there still baffled that it is the way it is. Oh well.